For Christmas in 2020 I was given an Ancestry DNA kit from my mother. It was a very thoughtful gift from a parent who has always given me very thoughtful gifts my entire life. However, almost all of my mother’s digital life – from her home automation, to the last 3 laptops she’s owned, to her on-site NAS, to most things she owns that have a plug & screen are things I’ve given to her. I’m her tech-wizz son so it’s pretty suiting and I enjoy it. Unsurprisingly she’s not exactly “up-and-up” on technology – however she’s pretty damn keen on a lot of other things. She’s a smart cookie – just not with tech.

It’s for that reason I thanked her for the really thoughtful gift but explained that I wouldn’t be willing to use it for privacy reasons. She seemed perplexed as there’s a lot of mystery surrounding my father’s side of the family (no, he didn’t run off in the middle of the night to get a pack of smokes and never return). There’s basically nothing known about anyone prior to my grandfather, and there’s also another much more relevant question that pertains to me a lot closer which I’ll (very likely) never know the answer to. She was giving me the gift of curing curiosity. Am I curious – absolutely! But, I’m not willing to pay the price of admission.

I’m not a woman. I don’t know (or will ever) know what it’s like to spawn a child inside my body. I’ll never know what it’s like to give birth, or for that matter, terminate a birth that’s inside me. But I do know what it’s like to terminate a birth from the male side of the equation.

When I was in my early 20’s a former partner and I got pregnant, completely by accident. She was on the pill, but as they say, they’re not 100% effective – apparently especially so when you miss a pill. The relationship – while long term at the time, was on the rocks. We were in absolutely no position to have a child. Our respective parents knew about the pregnancy and there was a lot of discourse prior to making the choice to terminate. I was there when she took the pill the night before, and was there with her to, during, and from the hospital. It was absolute hell from my side of things and one of the more horrible experiences I’ve had to endure in my life. I can’t even begin to think I could equate that to what my partner went through. At the time I fully believed it to be the right choice. I have never waivered from that. If we hadn’t have made that choice, that child would now be 17 years old today.

I’m a huge proponent that when you want to use a piece of software, you buy the darn thing. All my copies of Windows are legit, my audio editing software wasn’t a cheap license, I have a lifetime subscription to XSplit, and a variety of other things. I pay for apps I like on my phone. However, I’m still running a cracked version of WinRar, because I’m not _that_ dedicated. Almost.

This is coming from a guy who basically pirated everything under the sun from the dawn of getting online (heck, even before). I remember being quite young when Windows 3.11 was the shit. It came on something like 15 x floppies. Needless to say, pirated. I was one of the first kids with a CD burner. Game on.