Maybe you’ve been there, I certainly have. For a couple years in my early 20’s I had my credit cards maxed out, a couple bucks in the bank, and a shitty job that was paying me $1000/month base + extra as we did gigs. We were doing well for a while, until the owner decided his affair was more important than the business, and suddenly the “extras” dried up. The $1000/mo was something I’d have to beg him for in the last hours of the 30th of the month so I could pay the minimums on my credit cards. Debt piled up within a few months and suddenly I was poor. I managed to find myself a new job paying $30k/year, but it was a 2.5 hour commute each way by public transit – the only thing I could afford as my car was broken and I literally had nothing left. I was living on little more than ramen and what my mom would leave for me as leftovers.
I hated her at the time for not lending me money just to buy a bus pass promising I’d pay her as soon as I got my first cheque. Instead she made me sell one of the only things I owed that had any value to scrape together literally the last few bucks to get myself to work. That was a really shitty 2 weeks until I had just enough to buy myself some lunch. The thing was – I had it easy compared to most. Oh, the lesson that she taught me. Hated her then, SO grateful for her lessons now.
What kind of person would say that? On the surface, and at first glace, I can’t think of many. But I can think of many reasons why other people out there should date my ex-girlfriends. For a variety of reasons.
I’ve dated a wide list of women over the years, some for a few weeks or months, others for years. Some were batshit insane, one was wildly abusive, and one was fucking her friend behind my back for months. Pretty cool, eh? One, I cheated on. I was 21, and I wasn’t proud of it. Some we just didn’t have the same life goals in the end, and others that “spark” just died over time. I’m talking about people I actually connected with and spent real time with, not some random Tinder date who insisted we go to Jack Astors.
I love these women, at least most of them. Don’t mistake that as being in love with them, but I love them. Each in a specific and individual way. They, just like me, are humans. They’re people searching for someone to love them back the way they love. I am too. That’s what this whole thing is about, right? But with these women, every single one of them, it didn’t line up. Sometimes I determined that, other times they did. Even in some cases I was going to break it off but they beat me to the punch. But that too isn’t what this is about.
The thing is most people talk shit about their ex’s. I don’t.
You know the ones.. “Hello Sir, this is MICHAEL and I’m calling you for the air duct cleaning service”. You know all the replies people give… “Yes, clean all my ducks. I have 12 of them. They are a bit fowl”, “FUCK YOU DON’T EVER CALL ME AGAIN YOU ASSHOLE”, and of course my personal favorite “Sure thing, come tomorrow! I’m at 6 Tettenhall Road, Etobicoke”. If you Google that address you’ll see why it’s funny – at least it is for me. Any thought of inconveniencing the residents of that home is something I feel warm and fuzzy about.