Nearly everyone has heard of Tinder. It was the “original” dating app that gamified trying to find love, or get laid. If you’re not familiar with it – likely because you haven’t been dating anytime over the past 10 years – then it’s really a simple concept. You match with people you like, you chat, date, and ideally things go well. However, there’s a whole world of nastiness behind it, and some of it’s users will gladly attest to these things, with others being completely oblivious.

I began writing this article as last week I got a shock I never saw coming. My account in Tinder got banned. I wish I could tell you why, but I’m absolutely clueless – with one exception that I’ll get into later in this post. With so many other apps out there, why would I care – especially with Tinder in hot competition as the worst dating app out there. Well, they kind of own everything and have the dating market cornered. Oh, and they’re evil.

In this economy, who doesn’t need a couple extra bucks these days? I’ll tell you who, that silver spooned trust fund baby wearing $4000 sneakers that complete the $8300 “homeless chic” look. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could get a little taste of that feeling where you aren’t thinking about how much cash is in the bank each time you swipe your debit card buying avocado toast? Well, the simple answer is you setup a legal scam and let them buy into it. But not just any scam. It’s got to get these rich kids to drool.

Well, a ponzi scheme is easy pickings for dumb 20 year olds with too much cash, but you’re nowhere near as smart as Bernie Madoff and that kinda crap landed even him in jail. Hold them hostage? Nah, that never works out all that well. We need something that’s going to pull at their heartstrings, open their wallets, and create some top-tier content for their Instagram and dating profile photos. I’ve got it!

Back in July 2020 I wrote a long winded Facebook post about why TikTok was basically a virus that you gladly implanted into your life, and why it should be deleted immediately. The post came with a lot of reactions such as “I don’t care”, “I like the dances!”, and other completely checked out replies. A few people seemed concerned, but I’d be curious as to how many actually deleted the app from their devices. That post is forever lost when I deleted my old Facebook account, hence why it’s not linked here.

I wrote that diatribe a few days before it hit more mainstream media. I read a lot of security and tech blogs, which is where this info I was sharing was initially disclosed. Basically some guy reverse engineered the app and dug around it’s source code to look into what it was doing. The gist is that it’s run by the Chinese Government, the app collects everything about you it possibly can, has tons of very concerning back-doors into your device, and now… there’s more.

You seriously need to delete this app. And I’m going to tell you why.

For Christmas in 2020 I was given an Ancestry DNA kit from my mother. It was a very thoughtful gift from a parent who has always given me very thoughtful gifts my entire life. However, almost all of my mother’s digital life – from her home automation, to the last 3 laptops she’s owned, to her on-site NAS, to most things she owns that have a plug & screen are things I’ve given to her. I’m her tech-wizz son so it’s pretty suiting and I enjoy it. Unsurprisingly she’s not exactly “up-and-up” on technology – however she’s pretty damn keen on a lot of other things. She’s a smart cookie – just not with tech.

It’s for that reason I thanked her for the really thoughtful gift but explained that I wouldn’t be willing to use it for privacy reasons. She seemed perplexed as there’s a lot of mystery surrounding my father’s side of the family (no, he didn’t run off in the middle of the night to get a pack of smokes and never return). There’s basically nothing known about anyone prior to my grandfather, and there’s also another much more relevant question that pertains to me a lot closer which I’ll (very likely) never know the answer to. She was giving me the gift of curing curiosity. Am I curious – absolutely! But, I’m not willing to pay the price of admission.

I’m a huge proponent that when you want to use a piece of software, you buy the darn thing. All my copies of Windows are legit, my audio editing software wasn’t a cheap license, I have a lifetime subscription to XSplit, and a variety of other things. I pay for apps I like on my phone. However, I’m still running a cracked version of WinRar, because I’m not _that_ dedicated. Almost.

This is coming from a guy who basically pirated everything under the sun from the dawn of getting online (heck, even before). I remember being quite young when Windows 3.11 was the shit. It came on something like 15 x floppies. Needless to say, pirated. I was one of the first kids with a CD burner. Game on.